My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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