nut hugger
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize