Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize