Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I think people are normalizing furries
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
