Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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