just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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