My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We are all done wearing pants today
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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