Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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