I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
