I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
