Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
