Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
