Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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