I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
