im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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