I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Randomize
