"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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