quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
