Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
