Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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