belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
