I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
