i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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