im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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