highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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