East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
