My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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