john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
