You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
