At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
