3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
