it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
honey bunches of taint.
smell my finger.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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