your parents love me but you hate me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
