what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just forgot I was standing up.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
