How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He kissed a someone with a penis
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
it was like eating out sand paper
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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