I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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