just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
