i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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