He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He kissed a someone with a penis
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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