As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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