there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
