her vagine was all disorganized.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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