Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
