We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's blow job season.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
