He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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