Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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