with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
