our cab driver is having phone sex.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
