those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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