i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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