do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
do nipples grow back?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
