I just cut my nipple shaving
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
