Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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