I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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