WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
