Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
