Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
