Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize