it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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