My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I smell stomach acid.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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