just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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