I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
