i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize