I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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