What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
