I skipped work to stalk him.
We need to rekindle our bromance
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
