Kiss
Puke
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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