I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
