We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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